Kneeling at Her bed, drugged, filled with anxiety. And chemicals.

And so i find myself kneeling here, forced to write this blog. a shot of jager and 3 unknown pills are filling with me with trepidation and excitement.
my last real communique from my Goddess was her informing me that she had discovered my transgressions. photoes of girls, illicit conversations with my ex-girlfriend and a communication with a new girl have been enough to condemn me.
now i do not know what is in store for me this evening. i wish the chance to explain myself, but an order for me to blindfold and gag myself means that is probably goingg to be quite unlikely. i love this new direction my Goddess is taking me. She has begun to assert more control over my life. in a few weeks, she will own her own flat. i suspect this will mean that i spend more time serving her, and she will have a greater degree of autonomy to dictate my existence, free from the restrictions that domestic life entails.
i suppose that leaves little else for me to do except sign off, put on my restraints and await my fate. perhaps i will be given a chance to post again this session, to put my thoughts down on thus blog. but if not, at least i have been given the chance to air my thiughts before my torment ensues. the things i do in service to my Goddess...
signing off,
thrall

Kneeling at Her bed, drugged, filled with anxiety. And chemicals.

And so i find myself kneeling here, forced to write this blog. a shot of jager and 3 unknown pills are filling with me with trepidation and excitement.
my last real communique from my Goddess was her informing me that she had discovered my transgressions. photoes of girls, illicit conversations with my ex-girlfriend and a communication with a new girl have been enough to condemn me.
now i do not know what is in store for me this evening. i wish the chance to explain myself, but an order for me to blindfold and gag myself means that is probably goingg to be quite unlikely. i love this new direction my Goddess is taking me. She has begun to assert more control over my life. in a few weeks, she will own her own flat. i suspect this will mean that i spend more time serving her, and she will have a greater degree of autonomy to dictate my existence, free from the restrictions that domestic life entails.
i suppose that leaves little else for me to do except sign off, put on my restraints and await my fate. perhaps i will be given a chance to post again this session, to put my thoughts down on thus blog. but if not, at least i have been given the chance to air my thiughts before my torment ensues. the things i do in service to my Goddess...
signing off,
thrall

Thoughts from a Goddess

The idea of having a person entirely submit may seem somewhat alien to some people, but in our journey through life both Myself and thrall are the types of people who like to not only experience life to the full but also make it as exciting and varied as possible.  We of course lead our normal, day to day lives very successfully but we know that every week we have at least a couple of hours to escape to a fantasy that is entirely our own.

As my thrall has already told you the details of our previous play session I can only enlighten you to how I, as his Goddess feel when I can inflict that amount of pain onto a deserving slave.  We have a long history of various forms of relationship, in fact if you met my thrall I can imagine you would never even think of him as the submitting type, he is incredably charismatic, funny and intelligent.  However from the very beginning we have experimented, starting very innocently with simple bondage and chocolate sauce.

With age comes experience however and our current project which we are detailing in our blog is our most ambitious and exciting adventure yet, imagine a relationship without the boundaries of expectation or the unknown.  Our strongest asset to this relationship is that outside our bdsm roles we are the best of friends, there is no problem with trust because if my thrall breaks it he gets severely punished.  We lead our own lives and still have the time to dedicate to all of our fun.

Now of course I know you are interested in my perspective of a play session; honestly there is no greater adrenaline rush than having complete control over another person, physically I am smaller than my thrall but as he is well trained I am able to command him to do whatever I want.  This was achieved through the visual aid of me in my catsuit, which as you know my thrall greatly appreciates.  he knows that when I am wearing my catsuit he must be completely submissive.  Our initial sessions have been about establishing rules and a slight routine, this has centred around whipping.

Personally I love the feeling of a whip in my hand, my thrall also associates each strike with the words 'I love you' so pain is pleasurable, this ensures a longer play session.

We also are beginning to experiment with various substances in order to ascertain their various effects, my thrall had a particularly profound experience whilst being collared where he was bent over my bed with me on top of him yanking gently on the chain and partaking in what we term "Goddess Worship" during this, he lost consciousness for a while and actually exerperienced his first session of hypnosis.  When he awoke he was disorientated but filled with an ecstacy he could barely describe.

For me the key to a good play session is organisation, therfore I plan out the equipment I plan to use and the scenarios I intend to act out before my thrall even shows up.  Occasuonally we just play in an ad hoc way but these sessions tend to be shorter and less intense.

For the next two weeks my thrall and I are both away on holiday (separately), which gives us time to prepare for our next session which we intend to be a 24/7 experience with the use of roleplay, this will entail various techniques of interrogation and an entire day of playing our roles of Goddess and thrall.

Therefore our next post will be from an extremely tortured thrall, I am intrigued to see what he can coherantly construct after hours of play. 

Next time I will publish a few of my play scenarios and also the hypnosis script I will have used on my thrall.

Until next time.

Goddess

Xx

The first post, with regards to what we have done, how it has affected thrall and what he hopes to achieve in the future

This is the first blog post of a new blog that I intend to write, in collaboration with my Goddess. We will be giving frequent insights into our play sessions, how our BDSM relationship is evolving, as well as the types of experiences we have had, as well as those that we hope to have in the future. The format f the blog will be as follows: During our play sessions, I, the lesser in our BDSM relationship will write an entry into the blog. This entry may occur at various points of lucidity, alcohol content, consciousness and general emotional well-being. Therefore, expect inconsistency, ridiculous subjects covered, and very small amounts of rational logic. After my post, during the downtime between our sessions, my Goddess will chime in with her thoughts on the session, rate my performance, and possibly give hints as to what I can expect to endure in our next session.

As such, expect my posts to be Slavic in nature, be which I mean submissive in their context (not eastern European) and my Goddess’ posts to be of a commanding tone. As our relationship evolves, the content of this blog may change. Since we are both experimenting with this, and neither of us are completely confident as to where this will take us, neither of us can know how this blog will change. I suspect it will be less joke-y, more serious from my end, and more formal and bureaucratic from my Goddess. But watch this space, and you shall see.

A little about us, we are both students, relatively attractive people, who have chosen to engage in BDSM as an outlet to express ourselves, as well as research how BDSM affects couples, and how it evolves the psyche of those who undertake it. We have known each other for a number of years, been in a relationship for a significant amount of that time. However, we have some to the conclusion that I am lesser than her, that I do not deserve to be called her boyfriend. Therefore, she has chosen to make me her thrall, a being with increasingly little will of its own, relying more and more on the ego of my Goddess, the woman that I worship and adore, for my own sense of worth, but eventually for my very existence.

I have had a little experience with BDSM relationships in the past, but I have found that each one is different, and none of them can really be called ‘normal’. Therefore, what experience I have does not really stand me in any good stead here; serving my Goddess will be a truly unique experience, which I will attempt to convey to you via this blog.

And so on to the juicy details, of which you are all interested. We have had a small number of play sessions so far, and I have learnt a number of things:

1)      My Goddess looks divine in her catsuit. I would give anything to have her wear it constantly, but as I am beginning to learn, what I want is very rarely taken into consideration, and I can look forward to having less and less power of my own decisions as we continue down this path

2)      Being flogged hurts. A lot. A fucking lot. However, there are ways to dull the pain, and we will get to them at a later date.

3)      Having things carved into your penis is not something that most people would desire. But the longer you spend in agony, tutored into having a completely blank brain, consumed by worship for your Goddess, it becomes easier

4)      I talk a lot when I am drunk/drugged

5)      Lime tastes like shit. But is an effective gag.

The sessions so far have been a good introduction into the life I can look forward to for the foreseeable future. I spend a large amount of time kneeling, splayed over her bed, unable to move, whilst she tells me what my downfalls are, and accentuates these points with her whip, something I initially hated, but am very quickly coming to love.

We spend a lot of time in what I have concocted as ‘Goddess Worship’. I am put in a position of some discomfort, and am then told to divulge to my Goddess how amazing she is, how worthless I am, and how much the fact that I am able to love her is something I should be thankful for. After this is done, she usually forces some type of substance down me, something I love. Whilst they tale affect, I am spread eagled to her bed, and lots of frivolities occur from there. CBT, Breath play and body worship are all things that we take very seriously in this dungeon, and my Goddess is a mistress of applying these sadistic techniques to ensure I am wracked with pain. Naturally.

Today I was given morphine, and then flogged. The sensation was amazing. I felt warm and completely submissive, absolutely subsumed by my Goddess. It was disorientated, especially as I was choked during this particular Goddess Worship session, knocked unconscious numerous times.

And so I apologise for the disjointed nature of this first blog update. I assure you, I am staring over at my Goddess and she has a ruthless smile on her face. I will be punished for the mistakes I have made. Perhaps next time I will be in a more lucid frame of mind, and be able to tell you a little more about what we are trying to achieve, and more accurately how we are going about accomplishing these objectives.

And I will be being hypnotised next time. Very exciting!!!!

Yours,

thrall