This is the first blog post of a new blog that I intend to write, in collaboration with my Goddess. We will be giving frequent insights into our play sessions, how our BDSM relationship is evolving, as well as the types of experiences we have had, as well as those that we hope to have in the future. The format f the blog will be as follows: During our play sessions, I, the lesser in our BDSM relationship will write an entry into the blog. This entry may occur at various points of lucidity, alcohol content, consciousness and general emotional well-being. Therefore, expect inconsistency, ridiculous subjects covered, and very small amounts of rational logic. After my post, during the downtime between our sessions, my Goddess will chime in with her thoughts on the session, rate my performance, and possibly give hints as to what I can expect to endure in our next session.
As such, expect my posts to be Slavic in nature, be which I mean submissive in their context (not eastern European) and my Goddess’ posts to be of a commanding tone. As our relationship evolves, the content of this blog may change. Since we are both experimenting with this, and neither of us are completely confident as to where this will take us, neither of us can know how this blog will change. I suspect it will be less joke-y, more serious from my end, and more formal and bureaucratic from my Goddess. But watch this space, and you shall see.
A little about us, we are both students, relatively attractive people, who have chosen to engage in BDSM as an outlet to express ourselves, as well as research how BDSM affects couples, and how it evolves the psyche of those who undertake it. We have known each other for a number of years, been in a relationship for a significant amount of that time. However, we have some to the conclusion that I am lesser than her, that I do not deserve to be called her boyfriend. Therefore, she has chosen to make me her thrall, a being with increasingly little will of its own, relying more and more on the ego of my Goddess, the woman that I worship and adore, for my own sense of worth, but eventually for my very existence.
I have had a little experience with BDSM relationships in the past, but I have found that each one is different, and none of them can really be called ‘normal’. Therefore, what experience I have does not really stand me in any good stead here; serving my Goddess will be a truly unique experience, which I will attempt to convey to you via this blog.
And so on to the juicy details, of which you are all interested. We have had a small number of play sessions so far, and I have learnt a number of things:
1) My Goddess looks divine in her catsuit. I would give anything to have her wear it constantly, but as I am beginning to learn, what I want is very rarely taken into consideration, and I can look forward to having less and less power of my own decisions as we continue down this path
2) Being flogged hurts. A lot. A fucking lot. However, there are ways to dull the pain, and we will get to them at a later date.
3) Having things carved into your penis is not something that most people would desire. But the longer you spend in agony, tutored into having a completely blank brain, consumed by worship for your Goddess, it becomes easier
4) I talk a lot when I am drunk/drugged
5) Lime tastes like shit. But is an effective gag.
The sessions so far have been a good introduction into the life I can look forward to for the foreseeable future. I spend a large amount of time kneeling, splayed over her bed, unable to move, whilst she tells me what my downfalls are, and accentuates these points with her whip, something I initially hated, but am very quickly coming to love.
We spend a lot of time in what I have concocted as ‘Goddess Worship’. I am put in a position of some discomfort, and am then told to divulge to my Goddess how amazing she is, how worthless I am, and how much the fact that I am able to love her is something I should be thankful for. After this is done, she usually forces some type of substance down me, something I love. Whilst they tale affect, I am spread eagled to her bed, and lots of frivolities occur from there. CBT, Breath play and body worship are all things that we take very seriously in this dungeon, and my Goddess is a mistress of applying these sadistic techniques to ensure I am wracked with pain. Naturally.
Today I was given morphine, and then flogged. The sensation was amazing. I felt warm and completely submissive, absolutely subsumed by my Goddess. It was disorientated, especially as I was choked during this particular Goddess Worship session, knocked unconscious numerous times.
And so I apologise for the disjointed nature of this first blog update. I assure you, I am staring over at my Goddess and she has a ruthless smile on her face. I will be punished for the mistakes I have made. Perhaps next time I will be in a more lucid frame of mind, and be able to tell you a little more about what we are trying to achieve, and more accurately how we are going about accomplishing these objectives.
And I will be being hypnotised next time. Very exciting!!!!
Yours,
thrall
